I found this book during Covid 19 lockdown 2020* while rehabilitating myself back from long Covid. Simple and sinister reminded me to keep it simple and create a focus. To stay on task. Perfect techniques and value stability over the progression of the training load. 

Lockdown 2020 physically took me back to the start. A perfect opportunity to build to timeless simple fitness standards.  Working within my physical limits I listened to my body using nasal breath control and the talk test. 

No gym access, plenty of kettlebells, and time on my side. 

Training Fast and Slow

A workout should give you more than it takes out of you 

The kettlebell get-up is the ultimate slow lift.

The kettlebell swing is the ultimate fast lift. 

Kettlebell swing

The goal of the kettlebell swing is to develop hip drive, speed, and aggression.

The bottom of the swing is a silverback gorilla pose. 

Silverback gorilla pose: 

Use a Two-handed kettlebell deadlift to teach the hip hinge placing the kettlebell at the base of the heels. Watching not to place the kettlebell to the front of the feet. 

Assume the bottom position of a deadlift. Upper arms against the ribs. Forearms against the inside of the upper inner thighs. 

Tilt the bell towards you to make it an extension of your arms. Arms straight and relaxed.  The kettlebell is launched with your body, not your arms. 

Hike pass is about using your arms to actively throw the kettlebell back while letting it pendulum forward on the way back. Aim to place the upper arms against the ribs and the forearms against the upper inner thighs – silverback. 

Use the hike pass to begin a kettlebell drill

Practice hiking the bell and parking it safely.

The top of the swing is a plank. Come up with tremendous power to lockout. At the top of the swing, let the kettlebell float and enjoy the rest. 

The arms work on the negative and the hips on the positive. Ensure the kettlebell forms an extension of your arms. Kettlebell swing teaches projecting power forward. 

Breathing cues

Inhale on the way down. Exhale on the way up. Hardstyle swing asks you to play chicken with the kettlebell and wait until your forearms almost touch your stomach before you hinge your hips and get out of the way. 

One-arm kettlebell swing

The kettlebell will try to twist you making the one-arm kettlebell swing an anti-rotation exercise. Square shoulders away. 

Left-handed swing: Left-arm contacts left inner thighs.

Right Handed swing: Right right inside thigh.

Kettlebell get-up

Make the get-ups 30-35 seconds long to focus on time under tension.

Key skills for the get-up.

Learn to roll. In a right-handed get-up. Push off with your right foot and imagine you are sending your chest to the left side. Your eyes lead the way and then the chest. Not the head.

Accept weight on the left elbow and wrist. Squeeze the kettlebell to the midline. Ensuring the left side does not collapse keeping the left shoulder away from the left ear.  

This should leave you sitting strong. 

[I personally have always struggled to keep the left leg down as I roll to my left. Vice versa on my right. Breathe through the movement and pay attention to using the right leg to help drive you across].

Now move to a sit tall position. By lengthening your spine. 

How you move into a lunge is up for debate and your preference. Simple and sinister suggest a windmill approach into a lunge. Reverse the movement from standing to lying. 

Check-in question: Would I be willing or able to do this with a 100-pound kettlebell?

Timeless simple program

In the kettlebell world. Swing and get-up. Provide the biggest bang for your buck.

The program is designed to be simple. Based on the concept of limiting the number of variables. Changing only one variable while keeping the rest constant to watch its effect. 

As a program, timeless simple is biased towards the development of power, strength, and quality of technique. 

No distractions. An opportunity to be a technician. Train almost daily. Only taking time off if your schedule or body insists.

Exceptions to the rule:  

High load strength trainers. Elite Sports training. Physical occupation. 

For these groups. Progress may not be as quick compared to those dedicating 6 days a week to simple and sinister. 

Where to start?

Average strong man 16-24kg kettlebell

Average strong woman 8-16kg kettlebell

Timeless Simple  

32kg male 

24kg female

100 swings (sum of arms) in sets of 10

Once 100 swings are complete. 

5 gets up per arm (in sets of one) 

Time determined by the talk test. 

Talk test: effortless chat between sets. The test is a yes or no not a maybe 

Because the goal of timeless sinister is to turn up each day and master the basics  that’s what you should do. Think of it as low load, low-level training 

A manual job. Not training. You turn up each day and punch in, punch out, and be ready to go again the next day.

Every 2-3 days switch out a single arm with double arm swings. Although the weight stays the same it reduces stress on the body while maintaining a focus on power development. 

At any time in the program if you feel you need. Recover using the two-arm swing. Even if you always feel good. Replace one arm swing with two arm swings at least once every three sessions. 

10 x One arm swing Left x 5

10 x One arm swing Right x 5 

= 100 swings for the day 

Rest between sets of 10 swings. Rest should be guided by the talk test. Complete swing prior to get-ups 

Use chalk 

When to progress?

Owning a weight means being able to do the given sets and reps with perfect technique without getting stressed. Once owned the kettlebell increments are 4kg for women. 8kg for men. 

If the weighted owned is S

Then S+ is the next incremental weight up. Use S+ for 20 reps at a time. This type of progression is called step loading. Here’s how to apply step load progression to your training. 

Start from the third set and every 4 weeks add another 20 reps working your way to the end before replacing the first two sets 

If you need to half the weight progression. Reduce the duration of progression to 2 weeks from 4 weeks.  

2kg women 

4kg men

If you struggle with your grip 

Use two-handed swings. Back off and use lighter kettlebells. Split set the 10 for example 7+3

Progression with kettlebell get-up 

Be aware when jumping up weight the centre of the kettlebell mass will noticeably move away from your forearm altering the exercise groove. Pay attention

Most people don’t make it to Simple. Most are distracted and lose their way. If you do continue on after conquering timeless simple. Here is your next step. 

Timed Simple

100 one-arm swings (sum of arms) in sets of 10 in five minutes

5 get-ups per arm (in sets of one) in 10 minutes, after swings, and after one-minute rest. 

Male: 32kg  

Female: 24kg kettlebell swing, 16 kg kettlebell get-up 

Once you make it to timeless simple strength standards. Training frequency can now drop to 3-4 times a week as the training intensity increases. If you hit a plateau, even with the glacial progression of step loading, back off, drop down a bell size or two, then build back up again. 

Introduce timed tests on a Friday as one of your 3- 4 training sessions for the week. Taking Sat and Sunday off to recover for Monday.

This is hardstyle kettlebell training. Don’t forget to reinforce the key points

Each kettlebell swing is to develop power. The importance of all-out effort. In martial arts, the word kime is used to describe total focus and commitment to action. 

Do swings faster than comfortable – get-ups slower than comfortable. 

Grip the kettlebell with a relaxed intention. Squeezing a kettlebell in fear or wanting is not the answer. You won’t create more power by simply wanting it more. 

Never let the speed of your swings drop even if the goal is conditioning. And remember you need strength before you focus on strength endurance. Else you have no strength to endure. 

Go above the talk test threshold only once a week. 

During timed sessions use a kettlebell that you “own”. It is no time to mix weights or push how much you can handle. 

Continue to seek mastery and subtleties of technique. 

Sinister goals

Male: 48kg

Female: 32kg kettlebell swing, 24 kg kettlebell get-up 

* Post covid -19 infection it took me 6 months to rehabilitate to the point of being able to engage with timeless simple, initially using a 20kg kettlebell.

For the first 6 months, I built up my strength using a combination of bodyweight exercises and  2 x 16kg Kettlebells. I used and continue to use 3-week step load progressions valuing stability over progress.