The sixty-minute father is a simple and powerful reminder of the work of being a father/parent. Applying these simple rules can change how you show up for your children. And in doing so change their lives and yours.   

Goal 1: Seize the day

As a parent, you have a small window of opportunity. 

Goal 2: To dispel the illusions

Illusion one: I have no choice

Illusion two: I’m busy all-day 

The greatest illusion of all. The slower day is coming

Tell me what you get done

Not how long you worked

Last choice is time with the children

How long do you think you spend each day in conversation with your toddlers?

Most guessed at between 15 and 20 minutes a day. Busy men spent on average less than forty seconds a day with their children, split into three encounters of between 10 and 15 seconds each. 

In another survey, fathers were spending 3 minutes a day talking with their children but the kids were watching 3 hours of television each day.

Talk to her like she understands every word

Children learn what they live

When children live with tolerance and fair treatment

They learn to be patient and fair with others

When children live with encouragement,

They learn to be confident and secure

When children live with praise and compliments

They learn appreciation 

When children live with fairness,

They learn the meaning of justice.

When children live with security

They learn to have faith.

When children live with approval,

They learn to like themselves.

When children live with unconditional acceptance,

They learn to find love in God and the world.

Goal 3: To give love without strings 

I love you anyway; unconditional love

When we love unconditionally we communicate acceptance

Loved anyway – security

Share in what they like (Chloe: LOL’s)

Cook with them (Ellie)

Traditions

Set aside a creative time

Be present avoid phone (screen-free)

Schedule all important dates

Find an activity or hobby you can share (not physical fitness dependant)

Read aloud to your kids

Tell them that you love them every day

Rx them letters when you are away

Create a physical connection with them

Goal 4: To praise my children

Help people reach their full potential

Catch them doing something right

The fastest way to get my fathers attention was to do something wrong

Goal 5: To laugh more with my children 

Goal 6: To set boundaries

Pick your battles

No boundaries create insecurities

Correct the behaviour/thinking not the person 

Goal 7: Not to delegate the big issues

More is caught than taught

Pass on lessons you learned from your father

Teach your kid how to handle money

[My dad taught me: Never be afraid to ask. A masterclass in parenting] 

Goal 8: To rediscover the ordinary 

Discover lego

Catch your children doing something right

Shared experiences > money and gifts with your kids. 

Goal 9: To forge a strong relationship with my child

Commitment to building bonds with our children 

Spend time doing the ordinary

If we want our children to accept our values we have to pass them on. 

Put quantity in to get quality. Quality won’t happen without it.

Grandmothers don’t skip pages or rush their time with their grandkids.

Goal 10: The final goal

Somebody can replace you at work but not as a father. Your time with your child is limited. Try not to miss one of the days you have with your kids.

Learning the Bicycle (for Heather) by Wyatt Prunty

The older children pedal past

Stable as little gyros, spinning hard

To supper, bath, and bed, until at last

We also quit, silent and tired

Beside the darkening yard where trees

Now shadow up instead of down.

Their predictable lengths can only tease

Her as, head lowered, she walks her bike alone

Somewhere between her wanting to ride

And her certainty she will always fall.

Tomorrow, though I will run behind,

Arms out to catch her, she’ll tilt then balance wide

Of my reach, till distance makes her small,

Smaller, beyond the place I stop and know

That to teach her I had to follow

And when she learned I had to let her go.