Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character reap a destiny. 

YOU; Dependent; Nurture; Child-like state.

I; Independent; Self-reliant.

WE; Interdependent.

Knowledge, Skill, Desire: Align all 3 to get the job done – What, Why, How to do it, and the motivation to do it. Habit is the intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire. 

• P: PCP Balance

P: Production 

PCP: Production Capability – the cost of producing the asset. 

Aesop’s Fable; If you like golden eggs look after the goose that lays them. 

• Inside Out Approach

Get to grips with your thoughts and feelings – there you will find your freedom. First, learn to coach yourself. 

Paradigm: Find your lens; how you view the world. Exploration of your values is key. What we see is all there is.

Simplify everything.

Focus on what you are capable of.

Enjoy your existence.

Be prepared to accept that what you think is productive is unlikely to match that of other people.

• Independence vs interdependence 

Independence:

Blame and victimhood

What’s in it for me? 

Zero-sum

“I’m just doing my job.”

Avoidance of risk

Hopelessness

Resignation and stagnation

Vs. 

Interdependence:

Responsibility and initiative to create solutions 

A reliance on interdependent skills 

Choice 

A creative force in your own life 

We assume that the way we see things is the way things are or the way they should be. Perception is powerful and should be challenged.  

• Private Victories vs Public Victories 

We favour public victories, yet, as you care less about what others think of you, you will care more about what others think of themselves and their worlds. 

If we think the problem is “out there”, so too the solution. 

Responsible independence – Effective interdependence. 

You will no longer build your emotional life on other people’s weaknesses.

“We must not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time.” – TS Eliot 

“Be or Do” speech by Robert Boyle.

• Habit One: Be Proactive 

Between the stimuli and our response there is freedom. Freedom to choose – imagination, self-awareness, conscience, and independent will. Freedom is the internal power to exercise those options versus liberty, more choice within the environment. 

“I am what I am because of the choices I made yesterday” – while helpful is not true – luck, circumstance, and our unconscious thinking can’t be ignored – however, victimhood is not a good look – owning where we are might just be better. 

Circle of concern vs circle of influence – proactive people work largely within the circle of control – control the controllable. 

The problem is out there, that’s the problem: “If only”, “When I have.” The alternative is to be the solution. 

“I can be more proactive, productive, and creative.” This feels like a control vs influence situation. For example, I can control how productive I am, but I might not be able to influence how much money I make. 

• Habit Two: Begin With The End In Mind.

Think about how you want to be remembered:

What character?

What achievements?

What difference would you like to have made? 

All things are created twice. Once in the mind. Once physically. Ensure the ladder is leaned up against the right wall. 

Self-awareness, imagination, and conscience enable us to examine and take charge of our creations. 

Personal statements and rewriting the script – begin with the end in mind – how would you like to “be”, act, or show up? 

I used to think as Covey suggests that you create expectations of behaviour and then work to achieve it, but now I think it is more action-based learning – based on experiences you create you learn about yourself. 

• Habit Three: First Things First.

Habit 1: You are the programmer – Imagination, self-awareness, independent will, and conscience.

Habit 2: Write the program – Based on imagination – the ability to detect your uniqueness and a vision of what you can become.

Habitat 3: Run the program – Actualisation of Habits One and Two – Independent will toward principle-centred. 

You are a disciple, a follower, of your deep values and their sources. And you have the will, the integrity, to subordinate your feelings, your impulses, and your moods to those values. Subordination requires a purpose. 

[Again imperfect science – However, it is still worth thinking about what you want and what might be achieved – knowing you are irrational, possess multitudes, and likely need saving from yourself. Think of Neil Gaiman’s writing rules. Helpful Hacks not moralising help].

The challenge is not to manage our time but to manage ourselves. We optimise to within an inch of our lives and often at the detriment of relationships. 

It’s how you treat the one, not the 99 – Parable of the lost sheep. “It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labour diligently for the salvation of the masses.” Dag Hammarskjold 

You can’t talk yourself out of a problem you have behaved yourself into. 

Rule for life: Be loyal to those who are not present – may require you to stand up for those who are not there – confrontation.

Rules for Stewardship Delegation 

1. Desired result – figure out what that looks like 
2. Guidelines 
3. Resources
4. Accountability
5. Consequences 

Clarify expectations in any new situation – don’t act like differences don’t exist (illusion of agreement). 

• Habit Four: Think Win-Win.

Win – Lose: Typical competition. High courage/Low consideration.

Lose – Win: Capitulation. 

Lose – Lose: For example divorce.

No deal: Quit, always an option.

If the abundance mindset removes you from zero-sum thinking, does it also leave you laissez-faire to competition (a strength and a weakness)? Look for cooperative people and design accordingly.  

“This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.” – George Bernard Shaw 

Transformational leadership shifts people from won – lose to win-win, this is where coaching, communication, project management, and courage are key. 

• Habit Five: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. 

Prescribing your lens for others’ problems is like the optometrist who offers you only their glasses as a solution to your eyesight problem. 

Empathetic listening is about understanding. 

Vs

Active listening is a technique to reply, control, or manipulate the situation.

If it’s true that only 10% of communication comes from our words, 60% body language, and 30% sound, then we not only have to listen but also feel, sense, and intuit the message being conveyed.

If the need for being heard, seen, and affirmed is not met, then that’s the need that motivates. Satisfied needs do not motivate – only unsatisfied ones. 

Empathetic listening involves rephrasing the content and reflecting on the feeling. Similar to Nonviolent Communication – “I notice that you..”

Here is an example:

“I’ve had it with school. It’s for the birds.”

“You’re really frustrated about school.”

The goal of listening is to get on the same side of the table. If the response is logical – proceed. If the response is emotional, go back to empathetic listening.  

Don’t lead with logic; lead with trust and emotion.

Ethos: Trust and character.

Pathos: Feelings and emotions.

Logos: Head and logic.

Habit 6: Synergise 

Principle of creative cooperation – Value the difference. “Good,” you see it differently to me. Think left and right brain.

If there is a disagreement with someone intelligent, committed, and competent then there is something I don’t understand, and I need to understand it.  

Homophily/heterophily – important for creative thinking, and yet we seek assurances and similarity: we prefer narrative to abstract.

Habit 7: Sharpen The Saw

Physical

Spiritual 

Social 

Mental 

Each needs attending to

For example, regular exercise, meditation, being of service and spiritual connection to your life force. 

Was that a deposit or a withdrawal?

• Is that reactive or proactive?
• Synergistic or compromise? 
• Win-Win, Win – Lose etc?
• First things first? 
• Begin with the end in mind 

“That which we desire we most easily believe”