SimonHarlingBlog Posts

I have two family members who are undergoing elective surgery, before Christmas.

Elective surgery is not an option but a choice.

Often we push back thinking it’s optional but more often it’s a choice we don’t want to face.

Courage is facing up to things we know must be done.

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Strength coaches find it hard to justify planning in detail. It’s hard to predict how an athlete will respond to training stimuli in the next few weeks let alone in 6 months. It’s tempting to rock up and see what happens.

What to do?

Lock in what you know; it’s probably more than you think.

Predict what you think you know; likely to be less than you think.

And for the rest agree in principle how you want to show up for each other.

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Not the boring stuff that’s on the job description or the answer you give at a party but the nature of what you do.

Today I sat with a group of coaches, who turn what they know, into what they teach. They are part of the knowledge economy. I couldn’t help wondering if that’s really the nature of what they do.

Here are a few questions to help:

What is the nature or essence of being a coach?

What does it mean to be a coach?

Define the concept of being a coach?

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If you are writing a book, chasing a difficult goal, or simply trying to make sense of what is going on, the rule of thirds is helpful.

Nothing goes well all the time; sometimes you will be happy with the progress, other times just okay, and for the rest of it, you will be sitting in a fog. If the balance between all three states is about equal, then the law of thirds reminds us that’s ok, much like Goldilocks porridge.

Tx Alexi Pappas

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Taking stock when emotions are high is not always easy. People deal with difficulty in different ways. Taking stock is a smart way to approach a difficult problem.

Following difficult situations and unexpected outcomes, check in with the people involved, and then when the dust has settled check out what happened, what was learned, and what could have been different.

Above all else, be kind.

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In fact, you are not yourself when your favourite team loses, when somebody accidentally pushes a trolley into the back of your leg, or when someone cuts you up in traffic.

With so many more stimuli present in our environments, the gap between stimuli and response has never been so important – you might find yourself being “you” fewer times than you would like to think.

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When Michael Jordan wore his red Nike trainers, not the regulation white everyone else wore, the NBA issued a $5,000 fine per game. Nike didn’t care. The maths was simple: if the fans didn’t care, then the NBA’s fury would be dwarfed by the sale of Air Jordan trainers. The gamble paid off, and to date, sales of Air Jordans trainers, are in the billions of dollars.

Today, in the UK, the fine for pumping raw sewage into our rivers and seas is in the millions of pounds. And yet, the practice continues. Why? Because the maths still adds up; if it didn’t they would stop.

Nike gambled on people caring more about their trainers than they did about the NBA’s rules, and they were right. Perhaps the answer to the infrastructure problems we are experiencing in the UK is that we need to care more, not rely on market value and fines.

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If you don’t know the arguments for the unfavourable in your approach, as well as you do the favourable, you don’t have an approach, you have blind faith.

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The first time you take your bearings, you are only off a fraction and that doesn’t matter so much. But the second time you look up, you are so far off that the territory is no longer the map.

We can set off with a big fanfare and a big vision, or can we start small with an intention, a few principles, and some behaviours.

The desire to be someone is so strong, so strong, in fact, it’s a distraction.

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Was it the big upfront presentation, the brochure outlining the new way forward, or maybe it was when you were seen, heard, and spoke up for the first time?

Our “desire” to be a cohesive unit often leads us to the idea of being led, with those who lead standing at the front with a glossy brochure.

But, perhaps starting with a group that has experienced being seen, heard, and spoken up is the quickest way to find out where people want to go and if they want to go with you.

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I am currently working through two self-paced courses

Graydin Coaching

Zac Cupples

And reading two books.

Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely

The Little Black Book of Training Wisdom by Dan Cleather

I’d say total time learning is no greater than three hours a week, one chapter a week on the books, and one section of self-paced learning.

Blogs, book notes, and leadership directives help me play with the ideas I’m working with.

I don’t think it matters how you do it, but it’s nice to make the time to do it.

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Jon Oliver recently ripped into the consultancy firm McKinsey asking for greater visibility and accountability. No skin in the game.

If you went to a good university, like money, and are risk averse, perhaps you should consider becoming a consultant.

On the other hand, if you are curious, believe that the world doesn’t need you but could use your confidence in others, become a coach.

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A principle is an unarguable truth. For example, the body is sensory; act accordingly.  And yet.

We care more about how much you can lift or how far or fast you ran yesterday than we do if you are stressed out, eating poorly, and not getting much sleep.

It’s only a principle if it costs us, and usually, that cost is the time to stop, look, and listen.

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Allows you to pick and choose what you want. The upside for the retailer aside from self-service, is that large amounts of product can be moved easily. Selling one chocolate bar at a time can be a slow business.

Of course, the upside of only selling one chocolate bar at a time is you quickly learn if you know your chocolate and your customer.

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NB: please pay attention to this next point.

As coaches, it’s tempting to think that what you have noticed is the thing that needs correcting.

“We shall see.”

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I’m learning to live with other people, and coaching helps me with that. 

Coaching helps me to shut up and listen.

Coaching helps me to silence my judgements while others talk.

Coaching helps me to not think about the next thing I want to say.

Coaching helps me to understand what the other person wants and then ask what they really need. 

When I am at my best as a coach, it is when I am working with people with intent –  people who bring energy, they have something they are working on, and they need my help. 

Coaching helps others get clear on what is really important to them. Not what they feel they have to do, but what they really want to do. 

Coaches ask questions like: What are you working on? What do you really care about? What are you interested in?

Answers can be dull at first, but not with practice. Soon, with practice, we drop the things we really don’t want and begin to get curious about the things that we might do instead. That’s why the idea of coaching in sports and physical education is so exciting to me. 

Because I don’t think I’m the only person who struggles to do their best work when the people they are working with wish they were doing something else, somewhere else.

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I’m back coaching kids football and my first session is Tuesday.

I instantly fell into the trap of trying to figure out how to plan my perfect session. And then I remembered Peter Perfect the strong but vain racer in the Wacky races. The moment he praised his car it fell apart.

Sound familiar?

Best I start thinking about what I don’t want.

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I’ve noticed that recently, I have more people in my life who ask me this question.

And that’s a good thing. In fact, it’s a great thing because they seek to understand.

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The point of practicing is to establish what you don’t want:

An editor’s review of the draft of your book will leave you in no doubt that much of it has to go; the rest you can keep.

Too much speed into a bend, and you lose time in your practice lap.

Lose your balance looking for an edge and you might look silly in the warm-up.

But when you find what you do want, that’s the practice you can keep.

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In a market, you find a way to pay what you think it costs, but the price of helping out on a bike bus on a Friday morning? That’s less clear.

Social value explains why your boss can’t get you to write an email past 5pm, but you think nothing of helping out at the local sports club.

Some things are worth more when you can’t put a value on them.

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Tomorrow is Ysgol Melin Gruffydd’s first bike bus – a chance for parents, kids, and teachers to come together and cycle into school. I’m super proud of the group that has come together to make this happen, and I’m sure it will be a joyous occasion.

A school bike bus service doesn’t solve the issue of safer cycling infrastructure, but it might just start the conversation.

Don’t forget to smile and wave tomorrow as the kids of Melin Gruffydd ride on past; better still, join us.

Update: Well that was fun 🙂

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I recently heard a mum tell her daughter to “stop, look, and listen” at a road crossing. How many times do we look and listen but don’t stop? You can listen but not hear, look but not see; stopping might just be the answer.

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No one I know has ever gotten on a plane because the captain didn’t know where they were going. The destination is the attraction, not the journey.

The same is true for some forms of coaching. For example, a fitness coach will take you from not so-fit to fit for purpose. Once again, the destination is the attraction, not the journey. However, unlike a plane, the journey towards fitness is optional.

Better to sell the journey, not the destination.

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Maybe the easiest day was yesterday and today is supposed to be tough. You and I can do tough. But, not always.

Call a friend.

Try to figure it out.

Do the maths.

Go to the gym.

Let it out.

Remind yourself of what you can control; self.

Take a breath and then sleep on it.

They say you should take my advice because I don’t use it, but that’s not always true.

Here’s to tomorrow

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Think of the novice lifter looking to their teacher for approval. The lifter is there to demonstrate competency, and the teacher to pass on their knowledge. The environment is one of assessment.

What if the only person you need to convince in that situation is yourself? What would change?

It’s hard to imagine you would not begin by asking better questions. No?

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Why did I make that decision? What was I thinking? Was I even thinking?

A little while ago, for fun, I turned the Pareto Principle, which suggests that 80% of consequences come from 20% of causes, into a slogan for myself.

I’m 80% emotional/20% rational. A reminder that the work is to overcome resistance and think, very practicing stoic, I know.

Perhaps we haven’t gone far enough.

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When writing a book, it’s tempting to start to think about how you might sell it.

How do I reach the people who need to read it? What if no one wants to read it?

If the work of “pitching it” is taking away from the work of “shipping it” you have a project problem.

Shipping your work starts with writing and concludes with the book on the shelf. If you haven’t locked that process down, thinking about how to pitch it might just be a distraction.

Progress is sometimes traveling without moving.

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When a bike holds up a car in traffic, it can be frustrating.

Bikes don’t pay for the roads; cars do.

Cyclists don’t keep the wheels of industry moving; motorists do.

If we go any slower, it will all come to a shuddering stop.

And that’s true if we agree that faster is better; after all the car replaced the cart.

But then is intolerance, a lack of emotional control, and losing our minds faster than ever better?

Perhaps it’s time we all agreed that we can do better, much better, and maybe that’s the thing we should all agree on faster than anything else.

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What one thing does a kid need to become quicker?

Is it:

Rate of force development – I’ve seen mention of relative strength, functional strength, and strength in your big toe, but I’m going to move on.

Coordination training – sprint drills and the like.

Fun -tag and chase games.

I’m going to argue that it is intent. We can’t schedule intent; we can’t measure it either but we know it when we see it.

My eldest runs hard when her sister chases her in tag games; she runs slower when I ask her to do sprint drills, yet when she runs at the half pipe in parkour in an attempt to make the top, I’ve never seen her run so fast, consistently, ever.

What can we learn from this?

Coach the human, not the model.

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The breakthrough for a coach doesn’t come when they find their audience it comes when they have done the work to show up without the need for baggage.

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Far too often we think the thing we are working on is the game changer.

But what if the thing that you are working on now was not the plane that would see you take off but just another piece of the runway? What would change? What would you do differently?

Props to B

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I’m pushing on with a return-to-running protocol after tearing the meniscus of my right knee in a biking accident. I was thinking about a new bike, and completing the Scotland North Coast 500 with a friend, but instead, I’m giving myself no choice but to work on single-leg expression and absorption of force.

Success is a return to running, failure is going under the knife and the prize is a change in where I am now.

Over the next 90 days, without any money required or new time spent, what task could make you a little wiser, win or lose?

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Experience is only useful if you use it. Twenty years in the same job doing the same thing is really only one year of experience, repeated twenty times.

A recent study reminds us that growing old gracefully requires us to do things differently. In short, because we can’t exercise with the same intensity then we need to exercise for longer, a lot longer it turns out.

Getting out to see the world has never made more sense.

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You pass your exams on your own; no one can pass your driving test for you. And you get your first job – or at least we like to think so – because of what you can do.

Then, you get work colleagues, a partner, and maybe a family. Perhaps you lead a team, a project, or a business. Take a look at your CV; it highlights teamwork, collaboration, and working independently and in groups.

The truth is, that a highly functioning team is a rare and beautiful thing. It contains a collection of individuals who have learned to live with themselves and are open to learning how to live with each other.

The pursuit of individual excellence might not be all it’s cracked up to be.

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I love this quote from Richard Evans:

“Record covers are perhaps the timelines of our lives. They remind us of where we were, what we were doing, and who we were with; they mark our student days, our holidays, our growing up, and our coming of age.”

Rather beautiful don’t you think?

The first record I bought was Baggy Trousers by Madness, I remember proudly pinning a Ruthless Rap Assasin poster on the wall in my student digs and heading into the hills with a van full of mountain bikes feeling as risky as the beats on the God’s Son album by Nas.

Yesterday I had the good fortune to attend a Graydin coaching practice themed “Meet them where they are.” A nod to the idea of standing in the coachee’s shoes, seeing what they are seeing, feeling what they are feeling. What is it like standing where you are now?

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I recently found myself retrofitting my thinking whilst headlong into a project.

Impulsive, maybe.

Heart over head, perhaps.

Could I have planned it better to start with? Clearly not. That was not until I figured out what I needed to know. And now, yes I can.

Retrofit is to change the capacity, function, or performance of the thing you have in front of you.

Not always such a bad thing.

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You could look at the “market rate” which is simply to compare yourself to those around you.

A friend of mine invests in property and never pays the market rate; instead, he calculates what it’s worth to him. The “never mind the market rate” relies on personal choice, circumstance, and patience. He collects plenty of “no’s” while he waits for a “yes.”

Price is a story we tell ourselves and it pays to get our story straight.

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We can get wound up by the stories that other people tell, that are inaccurate, misleading, or in our opinion, plain wrong.

But in the end, it pays to remember that unless we have permission, the role of the assessor is not ours to assume.

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If it’s no longer about knowing the answer then what’s the question.

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The process of creating a product or service, with the end user, is co-creation.

Perhaps it starts with modeling the behaviours you would like to see.

Declaring what you are working on, taking questions, and accepting challenges.

But it doesn’t have to be just in business, or even your peer group, you can do it at home too with the kids.

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If you want to make a good decision about your numbers then take the emotion out of it.

If you want to find the thing you love to do, take the numbers out of it.

Accountants can write poetry and a poet can balance their books but no one wants an accountant who is poetic about your numbers.

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The true test of a rebel is not the cause but the lack of applause.

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When a parent comes to you worried about what sports supplements their child wants to take. It’s clear there is a problem.

Do you support their choices, question their choices, or deny them a choice?

What about informing their choice?

When this particular parent sat down to talk through the choices, a new choice appeared, one that both parties could agree on.

Coach the person, not the problem.

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Division of labour separates those who think from those who do.

The problem comes when those who think don’t do and those who do don’t think.

Together is better.

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Derek Jarman writes ‘ It does not matter if it is a failure. Failures are to be desired as long as they are complete, stretched to their limits.’

But why would you want to stick around?

Perhaps you move so quickly that you learn nothing, maybe you haven’t given your idea time to work, or leaving a trail of mishaps has become so meaningless, that it has become part of your mo.

Whatever the reason, it pays to sit in failure, just don’t wallow in it.

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When Tony Benn stood up in Parliament to remind the right honorable members that anyone who voted to support the war in Iraq was consciously and deliberately accepting responsibility, he was asking for skin in the game.

How do you increase your commitment to the decisions you make?

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One describes a state of well-being, and the other relates to the ability to perform a certain task, such as running a 5k.

It is possible to be of healthy mind and body and of no interest in running a faster 5k. Similarly, you can run a faster 5k and not be of sound mind and body.

Sadly, because it’s easier to measure fitness than it is health, it is easy to forget the order in which to put things; fit and unhealthy is not as helpful as being healthy and fit.

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I’m reading Dan Cleather’s The Little Black Book of Training Wisdom as part of my research for a book idea.

A little black book is a place where you put confidential information that perhaps you don’t want to share with anyone else, and I get that. What works for you, might not work for anyone else.

But, what if, we could share what you think you need to be healthy? I’m calling on your wisdom, ideas, and words on what you think you need to be healthy. Who knows, what works for you, might just work for someone else.

Dan’s cardinal rule is “Above all else, be consistent.” Don’t do anything that might negatively affect your consistency.”

What’s yours? You can contact me here.

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Finding an “expert” to tell you what to do is not nearly as helpful as doing the work to understand what you have and what you think you do. If the world feels chaotic, it’s because your thinking is chaotic. First, choose yourself.

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Tired of being the only one around here who seems to care?

I know I have been guilty in the past of martyring myself if things are not up to scratch.

If you find yourself being the one who does most of the thinking, talking and doing?

It might be time to let some light in:

Provide all the information required to make one decision.

Ask those involved to come to their own conclusions.

Then come together to discuss.

The alternative is to keep everyone else in the shade while you complain about being the biggest tree in the forest.

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I thought I’d show you a copy of my weekly email that I send out to those who have subscribed to receive it.

Each week I share the things that I’ve been pondering, caught my eye, or simply enjoyed being a part of.

No nonsense. No spam. Just one email each week. You can sign up here.

https://sendfox.com/SimonHarling

Hello,

When it comes to training gains which is it? Nature or Nurture.

“Look at a loaf of bread and I put a kilo on.”

“I’m too old to put muscle on now.”

“I’m built for speed, not endurance.”

You get the idea. The hand we are dealt plays a big part, but how big no one really knows. What we do know is that placebo, positive thinking, and the willingness to surprise ourselves, have the power to change what we think.

I’m not sure you need to believe in God to believe that the serenity prayer is worth repeating:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.“

I’m going to leave you with a question:

What separates you from what you want? It’s a hell of a question, and one Lins asked my eldest Ellie, last week.

Have a great week.

Simon

P.S. I can’t remember who sent me the link for this video, but if you like mountain biking, the Outer Hebrides, and people finding their voice, you’ll love this. Enjoy.

Come along for the ride.

https://sendfox.com/SimonHarling

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When we ask someone a question like. Why do you do the things you do? You might get an answer like “I don’t know.”

Why did you pass the ball there? Give the ball away here? “I don’t know, I just did.”

What do you want to do? “Nothing”

You get the idea.

Describing what you don’t want helps to describe what you do want, and that comes with experience. A life well-lived.

Perhaps better answers come from better questions and a life well lived.

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My eldest was questioning her desire to go to parkour while riding home from school in the rain. It’s not hard to see why. On the other side was an hour-long ride in more rain before an hour of parkour and a ride home.

This is what her mum said to her: “What separates you from what you want (parkour) is getting cold, wet, and tired. If you want it, you need to recognise that, and get through it.”

You guessed it, I rode Ellie to parkour not her mum.

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Yesterday, I was speaking to someone who hadn’t planned their day, had no idea what they wanted to achieve or when they would like to achieve it. And yet, just before our conversation, they had been watching a video on time management and productivity.

As obvious as it may sound, a great place to start is to decide what you already know and how you plan to use it. You might just surprise yourself.

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I’m not sure you need to believe in God to believe that the serenity prayer is worth repeating.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.“

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Who coaches the coaches coach? If we think in straight lines and linear progression, it can go on and on, and it’s hard to see the endpoint. The answer appears to always be to think bigger. Much like the nursery rhyme about an old lady who swallowed a fly. When will it ever end?

The old lady swallowed a bird to catch the spider. How absurd. If only the old lady had considered the connectivity of systems.

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Would you

A. Do a workout of the day (WOD), wear a headband, and worship Uncle Pukie?

B. Do something else instead?

Successful brands, give you a clear choice, all you have to do, is say Hell Yeah.

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If you have ever asked the question, “Who am I?” and haven’t shared the answer, why not write a book?

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The word “rabble” describes a mob, a disorderly crowd, and, perhaps, less well-known, a group of butterflies.

The question is not how do you create a rabble, but how do you get butterflies to fly in formation.

Leadership, a common goal, and participatory fellowship differentiate a rabble from a community centred around a purpose.

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Projects point us forward. They provide us with meaning. Help shape our environment and provide us with skills.

Choose your projects. Choose your future.

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Post-truth is an adjective defined as “relating to or denoting a circumstance in which objective facts are less influential in shaping public opinion than appeals to emotion and personal belief.”

We fall for stories, not facts.

The narratives we create around who we think we are helps us make sense of our place in the world. How much our truth helps us and how much it gets in our way, is for us to decide. However; it’s worth remembering that we have the capacity to change our story.

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The dictionary defines “agency” as the capacity of an individual or a group to act independently, make choices, and have a significant influence on their actions and decisions.

How do we coach others if we act on what they tell us they want? Are we giving away our agency? Maybe that is what we really want, because if it doesn’t work, then it’s not our fault.

I’ve turned to design thinking for the answer. Design thinking is a process for solving user problems, using an iterative approach to create innovative solutions. A way of shifting from the intentional thinking of the designer to the intentional action of the user.

No one designs a chair by committee, or worse still by listening to what everyone thinks. Instead, designers watch how people interact with their designs; they watch what people do.

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Sure. But are you learning what people want you to learn, or are you learning what you need to learn?

The magic happens when we realise we don’t have what we thought we had.

Humility is a price worth paying.

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Today I had a conversation with a coach who was quick to tell me how many girls are signed up to play football for his club. And yet, in the age group he was talking about, the stats tell us that participation falls off a cliff. I couldn’t figure out exactly what was bothering me, about the conversation, until I had walked away.

Then I got it.

A bad coach wants to be left alone, an average coach wants to learn and a good coach wants the truth. The problem, of course, is that there are a few versions of the truth, and which one we use, will depend on the story we are telling ourselves.

Subjective truth is your truth.

Normative truth requires an outside view, not the view from the rock that you are hiding under.

Finally, there is the objective truth which can be measured and verified.

A good coach not only wants the truth, they know the difference between good news and the truth.

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Never trust anyone who will sell you a shovel and tell you where to dig but is not there digging with you.

The richest people during the California gold rush of the 1850s were those who sold shovels, land, and hope.

It appears that hope is only in short supply when people are trying to sell it to you.

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Don’t believe the hype. Ever.

Two rules. One genre.

Uncouple success from expectation and do the work.

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Last week I was lucky enough to watch ex-world champion Nick Matthews play an exhibition game at my local squash club, Rhiwbina.

On the one hand, Nick is one of the best to have ever played the game of squash, and on the other, I got to watch an athlete prepare rigorously for a game of no consequence.

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Here are a few things that I have learned while trying to get my ideas out into the world.

Don’t approach the top table; unless you can improve their status, which is unlikely.

Don’t try to please the merry-go-round of “busy” industry opinion leaders for the same reason. You don’t need an echo chamber.

Do approach people from outside your industry who are curious and like ideas, not your success.

Do find the underdogs in your industry, the students, and the “doers.”Talk to them.

Finally, remember the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is way more important than any top table. Just ask anyone who had to fake it to make it.

Do yourself a favour and go find the early adopters, underdogs, and fire starters.

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You don’t need to be confident that your changes will work, but you do need to be courageous.

The last line from the Principles of Community Engagement For Empowerment.

“We must challenge perceptions of our professional role as ‘experts’ and have
the courage to focus on the changes needed within our own organisations
before trying to enact change within communities.”

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The joint-by-joint approach explains why a practitioner may treat your knee by first looking at your hip and ankle.

There is no point looking for the solution in the same place you found the problem.

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The expected way of doing something.

Not because you feel good because the sun is shining, or because your team won, but because it’s the way you do things.

Once you see that we are subject to “occasion noise”, that is to say, how we are today is likely to be different from how we were yesterday, you get to decide if it’s the practice we are interested in, or how we feel that day.

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Full disclosure: I like bikes. I once rode from Canada to Mexico because I thought it sounded like fun. And I imagine you think I would be okay with my kids to riding to school. But I wasn’t.

I know what it’s like to ride my bike in the rain. 

I also know how much resilience is required to ride my bike every day.

Not to mention, organising your kit takes discipline.

Have I mentioned the look people give you when you tell them you don’t have a car?

My kids wouldn’t like it, and they would hate me for making them ride to school.

People in cars don’t like people on bikes; I didn’t want to put my kids in danger.

My kids would be exhausted by the time they got into school; it would be too much for them.

I would be asking much of them making them ride their bikes every day. 

Did I mention punctures?

I thought my kids would hate the Welsh weather, they don’t, I do. They are too busy laughing and talking to notice. 

My kids find it easy to get up and organise themselves. Signing them for being late is a thing of the past, like traffic jams.

The other kids want to ride in with them and their teachers can’t do enough for them, while the parents think my kids must be superheroes in disguise. 

It took my kids a few weeks to get used to riding in; it took me longer to relax and stop worrying about them.

It’s harder for me because I can imagine how hard it would be for you.

Tx: Cardiff City Cycle I’m grateful for the opportunity.

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Whiskas cat food once claimed that 8 out of 10 owners said their cats preferred it.

In a noisy marketplace, it can be difficult to stand out, and so it’s tempting to do something different. A product that does it quicker, cheaper, louder, or better than the others. But how do we know, what to believe and what to pay attention to?

Standards are helpful, rules are better, and unlike cats, results speak for themselves.

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We don’t eat fortune cookies because we enjoy the taste of them; we eat them because we want to know what happens in the end. Of course, neither you nor the cookie, know how it ends, but that’s not the point. The anticipation, joy, and fun of it all, matter more than the accuracy of the prediction.

For those of us in the youth sports business; we would do well not to confuse what we do with the fortune cookie business. That said, we need to find a way to bring enrollment, commitment, and tension in a manner that matches the fortune cookie experience.

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Agreement can be an illusion, as a group, we can all agree on the same thing and yet be no closer to the truth.

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Every time someone walks into or leaves a room; it’s a new room, with different dynamics, different status roles, and a different way of making decisions.

It’s worth considering who’s in the room and what role they want to play.

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The advantage of being an early maturing athlete is well known. James Vaughan was 16 years old when he scored his first goal in the Premiership in 2005. The idea is that in a meritocracy, talent, and competence take precedence over chronological age.

However, it’s becoming increasingly obvious that sports have not always been on a level playing field, and now is the right time to talk about what “good enough” really means.

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Reading the work you wrote yesterday before you write anything today comes at a cost.

However, if you are prepared to pay, then it’s a principle in and of practice.

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I didn’t see it coming, but now it’s undeniable Chat GPT and I are friends.

I input words like “proofread”, “thoughts” and “summarise” along with the text that I want ChatGPT to review.

I’ve occasionally missed a comma, and sometimes the words are in the wrong order. However, every so often, I get a comment like, “Your text is well-written and engaging.” Who doesn’t need a friend like that?

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When we take an idea or a resource, create something from it, and then discard it, we are thinking in straight lines.

The dairy industry was once such an example before it realised that one of its waste products, whey, had greater commercial value than the food product itself.

Joined-up thinking might feel slower and less productive, but in the end, it results in less waste.

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The questions that serve me well on a daily basis.

For understanding a little bit more about yourself and how you co-exist with the world. What am I creating?

For physical and mental well-being. What am I tolerating?

For family and friends. What is it like to know me?

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Maybe you want to ride from Canada to Mexico on a mountain bike, and everyone else thinks it’s a bad idea.

Or, you have a business idea that is waiting to be done.

Whatever your idea is, you will know (or will soon find out) that family and friends might think your idea is stupid. They want the best for you and that means not failing, losing money, or getting eaten by a bear.

Here is my advice for family, friends, and business partners. Be interested. Ask questions and avoid opinions.

What does success look like?

Has anyone done this before and what did they learn?

What’s your quit?

That way, rather than pass on your concerns, you are thinking it through together and that might just be what everyone needs.

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One look at the Premier League Elite Player Performance Plan EPPP and it’s clear that the goal is to industrialise the production of homegrown talent.

If you include the 12 teams in the Women’s Super League, that’s 104 teams, all approaching the problem of developing young players in much the same way.

The task is to develop and share best practices. But that’s not the hard part. The hard part is treating people like humans while working in a system that expects you to think like a robot.

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A Pyrrhic victory is a term used to describe a victory that comes at such a high cost that it almost feels like a defeat. Sadly in youth sport (and parenting), the costs mount up, and defeat only shows up when it’s too late. The horse has bolted.

Here are a few examples worth thinking about:

Age group international honours.

Fourteen years olds back squatting bodyweight +.

Coaching your kid’s age group.

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When you have not got buy-in for your project, making adjustments, is painful.

When the work is to create buy-in to your project, the adjustments are easy.

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In physical rehabilitation, crawling is considered a reset. Being on all fours is a useful regressive step for people who are in pain. Crawling can help patients reconnect with their surroundings, improving coordination, balance, and sensory development. 

Aligning your timing, actions, or steps with your surroundings is rarely bad advice.

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More times than we like to imagine, we shut ourselves off from ideas, opportunities, and connections.

And yet, you would never answer your door by shouting, Go AWAY.

Instead, you accept the offer and ask. “Who’s there?”

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There will come a point at which you realise most of what you write is shit and that’s when you start treating your ideas like placeholders – successive approximation.

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Check-in: How do I want to show up?

Check-out: What is it like to know me?

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There’s a rule in copywriting that says “Show don’t tell“. By allowing readers to draw their own conclusions, the writer creates engagement.

In coaching, there is a shift away from direct instruction, for much the same reason.

However, the argument over whether we should show people or tell people is missing the point.

Equally critical is the practice of providing people with information before they form an opinion, a crucial step in sound decision-making.

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Might be your only chance to hear what the other person is really thinking.

Share the information, encourage them to form an opinion, and then ask them about what they see.

Who knows? It might just be the perspective you’ve been waiting for.

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The kid who has the lead role in the school play, the school rugby team captain, and has 10 A* stars in GCSE.

No, not that kid.

The one, who asks questions, accepts challenges, and has taught themselves to play guitar.

Give me that kid.

If we want to change this crazy culture of ours we need to start paying attention to success that looks like failure and not failure that looks like success.

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The good news is that everything is working well. That’s what we want to hear. What we don’t want to hear is that the project has been plagued with glitches since we started.

It’s clear that NHS managers don’t want whistleblowers.

Fans of football clubs don’t want to see their team concede possession of the ball.

And that if we are going to hear about the bad news it’s better to put it between two pieces of good news.

Is that really what we expect?

Perhaps it’s time to talk about the possibility that we can win a football match with less possession than the opposition. And that glitches in the system are exactly what we expect and want.

The alternative is to suggest that we aren’t paying attention unless it’s good news.

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Street Racket is a pretty simple idea. The idea is that you can play it anywhere. All you need is a bat and a ball.

Here is a pretty simple idea for coaches of any sport that involves hitting a ball:

Hitting an object is one of the ten athletic skills listed in the Athletic Skills Model. You showing up at a school with the intention of helping kids do just that, ensures that only nine more skills need covering that year.

Don’t seek any business or participation target improvements, simply remove barriers to kids regularly hitting an object.

By not obsessing over one skill, hitting an object, over the other nine you have clearly demonstrated an interest in the rounded physical development of children above the success of the sport you love.

That is your reward.

A chance to put the people you coach before the interests of yourself and your sport.

One school. One act. One down, nine to go.

Pass it on.

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An artist paints a canvas and moves on.

Art stands for itself.

The artist does not stand next to their work in an attempt to convince you of its merit.

I am beginning to feel the same way about writing a book.

One idea is to write a page at the back of the book about how to use it.

For example, choose a passage from the book to read aloud to a group. Then let the rest of the group talk about what it means to them before it’s your turn to talk about why you chose the passage.

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If the rule is that you don’t eat breakfast cereal that colours your milk then pink milk is not an option. However much you like the colour pink. That’s the rule.

If the guidance is to eat healthy, then just maybe pink is fine as long as the milk is organic.

If you aren’t making progress, but repeating the decision, first check the rule book.

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Today I visited the Grange Pavillon, a project in the centre of Cardiff, which is hoping to bring the community of Grangetown to the table.

If you have an idea, rooms can be booked for free and if you want to start a club there is no reason why not.

Getting started is not the hard part. Now more than ever, the freedom to act is with us.

No, the hard part, is not getting started, the hard part is figuring out how you are going to act, once you start.

What are the rules going to be in your playground?

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Talking about what it ought to be is not the same as talking about what it is and what it could be.

I’ve found the Gibbs Reflective Cycle to be helpful in this regard.

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On summer break my kids have been designing obstacle courses for themselves. From hanging, climbing, kicking, ducking, leaping, jumping, to running. They have even drawn out various hopscotch formats using chalk on the local tennis courts.

But, perhaps my favourite time during the summer holidays has been drafting in other kids and families to make up uneven, non-bio banded, community kickabouts on a smalled sided 5 a side pitch.

My observation for this summer?

Get to the park, get people together, and play.

P.S. Get Catrin’s mum on your side, if you can, she bagged three goals last week.

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For many of the decisions we make, we prefer intuition, to deliberaton.

I wonder if that’s because we would rather not share what the gut is thinking.

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