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SimonHarlingBlog Posts

We asked a 100 people

When designing something you want to be successful, it’s tempting to ask people what they think. If they like it, they will buy it, right? Maybe.

Watch what people do, not what they say – ask for commitment, not opinions.

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What’s on your mind?

While asking for feedback on a piece I wrote recently, I got a reply that asked what kind of feedback I wanted and what I wanted to achieve with the piece. Reasonable questions.

I so wanted to reply with answers.

But that was on my mind, not the reviewers – I wanted to hear what they had to say.

I simply replied: What’s on your mind?

It struck me just how difficult it is to keep your mind clear to receive feedback.

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Teaching for tangibles

What are your course takeaways? What actionable take-homes are available to your students? What do they get that the others don’t?

Today I received an email about a course on writing a manifesto.

Phil Knight of Nike fame did it. So, to the futurists, I’ve even written for the Athletic Entrepreneur. If you want to boldly state what future success might look like, then write a manifesto.

But, here in lies the trap.

Anyone who ever wrote a manifesto didn’t do it on a course; no one taught them how to feel, what to feel, or even how to write a manifesto. They simply wrote.

We are taught to teach for tangibles, for outcomes, for something that differentiates you from the crowd. But that gets in the way of what is really going on. Maybe you are learning to express yourself, perhaps testing your idea, or hoping that someone else thinks just like you. Whatever it is, being able to rip it up and start again is at the heart of writing a manifesto.

If you need something to show for it, it might just be for show.

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The Coaching Habit

Ask a question, listen, and acknowledge the answer – repeat. That’s it. Simple but not easy.

And remember, you don’t need a backstory if you do not plan to save them.

Tx Michael Bungay Stanier

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Comparing notes

There is a great line from the comedian Ian Stone when talking about opinions.

“All my opinions are just opinions that I have heard.”

Like a kid who has not done their homework, when it comes to handing in time, any answer feels like the right answer.

What’s your opinion?

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Defence

No, I have a better idea.

No, let’s talk about something else.

No, you have got that wrong. 

No, I’m not interested.

“No” creates boundaries, while a “Yes” can create possibility; you need both.

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Let the project teach you

What does that even mean?

Aside from overcoming resistance to begin, it’s about putting one foot in front of the other and not waiting until you are better qualified, more confident and have permission. It is about trusting that along the way you will find a way to make the next step.

Not a bad place to start, don’t you think?

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I want that one

If you manage, coach, or parent small people, then you will know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a request. And chances are you want something too. The question is not what you want, as that’s pretty clear; it is what YOU are actively doing about it.

Here are a few prompts to check if you are interested or committed:

List 5 things you are doing currently to get what you want.

List 5 things that you could do to improve your chances of getting what you want

List 5 things that, if stopped, would improve your chances of getting what you want.

Now describe the smallest step you can make towards what you want.

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Creative freedom

The ability to express one’s self without restraints or limitations.

Doing whatever you want to do is the freedom to move the goalposts whenever and wherever you want. That’s less about being creative with your resources and more about doing whatever the f**ck you want.

To my mind, creative freedom is the ability to do what you say you will do. Doing what you say you will do requires a range of skills to complete the task and an environment that affords you the opportunity.

That’s less about creative freedom and more about finding freedom with the constraints you find yourself under.

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Feed the mistake

Really?

Absolutely. Get back on the horse. Ask for the ball again even though the last time you lost possession.

Why? Because it’s unlikely that the horse will react in the same way, or you will lose possession in exactly the same manner. So, you are not repeating the mistake, if that’s what you are worried about.

Go again.

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Balance

There’s the work-life balance, balancing input with output, and of course, the balance that allows us to walk along a scaffolding pipe without falling off.

One of my favourite quotes on balance from Keith Johnson’s writing in the book Improv:

“There are people who prefer to say “Yes” and there are people who prefer to say “No.” Those who say “Yes” are rewarded by the adventures they have and those who say “No” are rewarded by the safety they attain. There are far more “No” sayers around than “Yes” sayers, but you can train one type to behave like the other.”

If you have spent your life colouring within the lines, just maybe, it’s time to take a blank sheet of paper and trust yourself to create.

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Harry Potter needs Lord Voldermort

And Lord Voldemort needs Harry Potter.

Without Lord Voldemort, Harry Potter is just a kid who goes to school. Okay, he did magic and we did science, but you get my point. 

Creating a narrative is helpful and hopeful, but for it to work, we need to accept both sides of the story. Don’t hide the bad, and show the good; you need both. Bring your full self.

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What was useful from my conversations last week

What is urgent feels important but what is important is not always seen as urgent. How you differentiate the two is a skill that takes practice. Look for tasks in which you have a low competency, the chances are, you will find important right there.

Proof of concept is not as much fun as hope but much more useful.

Thinking about your conversations last week. What was most useful for you?

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Does anyone buy anything in an elevator?

Maybe, but it’s unlikely. Much more likely is that you have practiced selling your idea in 30 seconds or less. A way of getting clear on exactly what you do in 25 words or less.

We exist because…..

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Eat the Elephant

The “Eat the Elephant” Wattbike workout is forty minutes long: Nine and a half minutes warm-up, followed by a consistent, effort for thirty minutes – no change of cadence or effort, just eat the elephant.

A bit of fuss at the start, a long slog, and then it’s time to down tools and clock off – the warm-down is only thirty seconds long.

If, like me, you overestimate what can be done in a day and underestimate what can be done in 90 days, then stopping to reflect on just how you have done in 90 days is helpful. Telling yourself you haven’t done enough every day, not so much.

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Does it work?

The thing you are working on

And if so, how do you know?

Who does it work for?

How and when does it work for them?

I spend a lot of time talking to coaches. Some want more clients, others want to connect to improve their chances of getting a better job but few talk to me about how they can improve what they do.

Proof of concept is not an inconvenience before you scale, or work for a bigger or better club, it’s your right of passage as a coach.

So does it work?

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Resilence

“Don’t stop when you are tired, stop when you are done” is a mantra for the resilient.

But what if “Don’t stop when you’re tired, stop when you’re done” was a reminder to decide when to quit, not a judgment on why you quit?

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When you don’t know the answer

If we struggle to know what to put on the exam paper, we’re taught to slow down and reread the question.

However, in life, it’s not quite that simple. We may have an opinion or believe that we know the answer, but do we really know the question?

A family situation is frustrating a friend of mine. To him, the answer appears clear, but the same could be said for the other members of his family – they all believe they know the answer. So, what’s the real question?

The truth is, they don’t know, and that’s because it’s difficult – as many family feuds are – and no one really wants to talk about it.

Recently, Steve Hansen, the Kiwi rugby coach, selected and coached a World XV team. As part of his selection, he picked Isreal Folau. The issues were clear, and so too was Hansen’s approach. Instead of seeking to defend or condone Folau’s actions, he drew attention to the question:

Pick the best XV rugby players in the world and then coach them to win.

That’s it. Leadership is about finding a way forward, and that begins with understanding the question that you are answering because one thing you can be sure of is those you lead all think they know the answer.

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What’s on offer?

I’ve been the subject of a few clumsy sales calls recently. Interest in a product or service is not the same as being ready to buy. To avoid jumping forward here is a question that might help take a step back.

If you say yes to this, what are you saying no to?

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Hope and Fear

If hope propels us forward and fear holds us back then we should be wary, but not weary of both.

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Cookie Jar (Update)

As a family, since I last wrote about the cookie jar we’ve taken to sitting with our journals each week and dropping notes of the things that we are proud of or want to remind ourselves about.

This week, we emptied the jar ready for the year ahead and made a scrapbook containing all the entries from last year.

Here are some entries:

“Sailing for the first time. I was scared but I did it anyway.”

“I hurt my finger in gym but did gym anyways. I’m really happy.”

“Front flip for the first time on my own.”

It struck me as a great way to track what we were working on, where it all began, and how we got on.

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The first problem

The first problem is unlikely to be the real issue, much like a writer offers the resolution before successfully outlining the problem space. Being clear about what we are thinking is harder than talking about what we did or didn’t do.

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What else?

Proof of concept requires you to ask others for help. Asking for help is not always easy, but if done well, it can benefit both parties.

Getting clear on the following helps:

What are you looking for?

What type of help do you want?

What does success look like?

What’s your focus?

What are your strengths?

What are your gaps?

What are you expecting?

Learn to ask for what you want. It’s helpful. Besides the potential upside for the helper is new stuff; information, connection, and maybe something that works.

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Remebering where you came from

Julian Mc Donald the famous designer doesn’t have a dress shop on Merthyr High Street.

Jude Bellingham doesn’t go home to the West Midlands for a kickabout on a Sunday.

Tom Jones will be in Vagas not the working men’s clubs of Wales’.

But rather than wishing that Merthyr was more like Paris, wouldn’t it be better to make it more like Merthyr?

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Clowning about

A PE lesson is no time to clown about. Teamwork makes the dream work not comedy capers.

However, teamwork is an illusion, if the people on the team are not in agreement.

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Proof of concept

The working title for my next writing project is “Gym Rules”.

I’ve started with an easy one. Do let me know what you think:

All starting points are equally valid:

Walking into a gym for the first time can be daunting, especially if you don’t know where to start. 

If any or all of the items listed below are running through your head, pick one and begin: 

Moving more

Moving further 

Moving faster

Lifting more 

Posture

Mobility 

Accountability 

Resilience

Mindset

Showing up

Organising your week

Meal planning

Organising your life

The next time a coach asks you. What would you like coaching on today? Accept the first thing that comes to your mind, begin, and continue doing what comes next. 

Pretty soon, you will have a much better idea of the order that you want to put things in, but to get started deal with what’s in front of you.

Maxim from Improv Wisdom

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Upfront

By sweeping into the assembly wearing his robes, my old school headmaster earned himself the nickname “Batman.”

Batman, unlike many superheroes, possesses no superpowers – only intellect, guile, and admittedly, a nice pad if mansions and a Batcave are your thing.

Upfront is not always about who’s in charge, or attention; sometimes it’s about presence, intent, and grace.

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Motivation over metrics

Aiming to write 500 words a day is unlikely to afford you the same success as Stephen King, in fact, it might even put you off a career as a writer.

I know I tried. When I started out writing, I even googled “How many words does Stephen King write a day?”

Can I write 500 words a day? Sure. Will they be any good? Maybe.

With nothing to aim for we can feel aimless but aimless might just be better than clueless. Better questions give us better answers.

What’s on your mind?

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What changes when the badge changes?

It is not uncommon for a Strength and Conditioning Coach to work across sports. A coach I was speaking to recently changed how he behaved based on the sport.

Poorly behaved rugby players did laps while football players got a telling-off.

What do you coach: The sport, the player, or the culture?

Of course, we coach within the culture we find ourselves. The average rugby player runs 6-7 km in a match, while the average footballer runs 10-11km. Regardless, a 14-year remains a 14-year whatever jersey they wear.

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Shoulda Woulda Coulda

What might have been, what could have been, or even what was but is no longer; the desire to be someone.

If you would rather do something, focus on how things are now, or how they could be in the future.

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Chief cook and bottlewasher.

I spoke to a friend of mine last week who now sees himself as a facilitator, not a coach.

It went something like this: Too many kids in a small space. Very few of the kids want to learn a skill anyway, and besides “the game is the teacher.”

I get it and maybe you do too.

A facilitator assumes a neutral role, managing group dynamics to meet specified goals and outcomes. In contrast, a babysitter is in charge of the safety of the child in their care, and manages behaviour, often to make their lives easier.

What role do you play?

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What stands out?

I’ve tried to steer clear of the “new you, new year’ stuff, but I can’t help but wonder if it crept into my psyche anyway.

Last week I wrote blogs titled: consistency, accountability, and old dog new tricks.

If you want to change what you do, first take a look at what you pay attention to. Here are a few questions that might help:

When you think back over the past week, what thoughts, feelings, or experiences stood out for you? What captured your attention?

What pulls your focus when you’re trying to concentrate on work/a project? What tends to distract you?

What information or input do you tend to zoom in on during conversations? What details stand out?

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Consistency

Acting coherently and predictably is to be consistent. But, is consistently trawling social media for new drills and exercises likely to produce a coherent and predictable practice? Unlikely.

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Who is going to hold you accountable?

I know strength and conditioning coaches who don’t have anyone review their programs, surgeons who go about their work unquestioned, and managers who continue their work unchallenged.

I’ve no idea if we are too busy, too scared, or if it’s just too difficult to assess, but I do know the word “profession” comes from the Latin word “professus”, which means “affirmed publicly.” We can wait, blame it on others, or find those who will affirm us and hold us accountable.

Not just once when we pass the exam but throughout our professional service.

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It’s so tempting to give people the answers

I’ve just finished writing up a workbook for coaches that will be ready in due course. It was so hard to finish because I wanted to give the answers. I wanted so badly for a coach to be able to have something tangible at the end of it all.

But that was not the point. The point was to feel prickly and provoked yet inspired.

I didn’t want them to feel like they had finished; I wanted them to feel they had just begun.

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Old dog new tricks

It’s tempting to think you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. But you can, and you should, it’s a lot of fun. Start with what you can do.

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How hard can it be?

Man has been arrogant of his own ability for some time.

Donella Meadows kindly offers this explanation: “We exaggerated our own ability to change the world. We did so not with any intent to deceive others, but in the expression of our own expectations and hopes.”

If that’s true, then provided we do the work to understand the situation we are in trust remains; if not, giving 110% effort might seem like the only way out.

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Three hundred and sixty five days

Happy New Year to you!

The kids have a calendar with daily quotes from powerful women for Christmas.

Today’s quote is from Diana Ross: “Instead of looking at the past, I put myself ahead twenty years and try to look at what I need to do now in order to get there then. You can’t just sit there and wait for people to give you that golden dream. You’ve got to get out there and make it happen for yourself.”

I get it; it’s helpful to look ahead and dream the big dream because today might just be one of those shitty days you would rather forget.

I’ve spent nearly 3 years rehabbing a torn knee cartilage rather than having surgery. I set myself a goal of running around Vic Park, Cardiff, as a Christmas gift to myself. And I bloody did it, well sort of – I pulled my calf, 3/4 of the way around.

The truth is, sometimes today is ugly. Here’s to your health, happiness, and fighting dirty each and every day.

P.S. You can follow my efforts on Strava. My dream this year is to run the same beach I ran as a kid. Only this time, I’m running it with my nephew, Rhys, and if that doesn’t drag me around, I don’t know what will.

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Voluntarily

Willing, able, and without expectation – this is the code of the volunteer.

Two of the positions I took up this year fulfilled the brief.

Contributor for the Ysgol Gymraeg Melin Grufydd Bike Bus.

Volunteer Coach with Llandaff Cricket Club.

However, the age group coach with Crocs Cymru didn’t, as my youngest plays for the team.

The Nolan Principles of Public Life, suggests we declare and resolve conflicts of interest. With £430 million in volunteering hours coming into Wales each year, I’m still of the opinion that coaching your own kids is a conflict of interest that needs resolving.

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Form is temporary

The saying “Form is temporary, class is permanent” attributed to the legendary Liverpool manager Bill Shankly, suggests that, in the end, the better team prevails.

But what if “class” were not about winning or losing, but rather about how you go about your business? Each project, ephemeral in nature defines a moment, not a lifetime.

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In the moment

Working with what we have, we become the artist; we create

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Ambience and service

Many of us will be out and about this Christmas with family and friends. Perhaps we will be at a friend’s house, with the family, or maybe at a restaurant recommended by others.

In what order would you place:

Food

Service

Ambience

For the 3-star Michelin star chef Marco Pierre White, the order is clear; ambience, service, and then food. So, often we choose to get good at the task, but the task is rarely ever the point. The point, as Marco Pierre White has learnt, is to create expectations and then match them with delivery. 

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Counting the cost

I once paid £14,000 for a website I never launched. If you add up the countless hours I spent messing around with it, the cost becomes clearer.

But often it’s not the cost that counts, it’s the burden that we feel.

Count the cost if it makes you feel better, but, likely, it won’t.

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Don’t hold back

“Tell me what you really think.”

Fear, anger, anxiety, the need to fill the space, and have our say.

Sometimes coaching is not in what we say but in what we hold back.

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Why do you do what you do?

Typically multi-disciplinary teams that support athletes have a head coach. Each head coach has their own ideas about what works and what doesn’t. This makes working for a head coach, a lottery.

By definition, a lottery is a low-chance, high-risk approach. Not what you want to hear when it’s your job on the line. But, it’s important to understand, because you don’t want to all of a sudden be in a place you don’t belong.

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You got what it takes

Even if it’s not true, it’s helpful.

It’s helpful because we fall for predetermined outcomes. For example, tomorrow’s meeting is going to be hard work, this project is going to be a success, and this student will never get an A+.

You get the idea.

The first rule of coaching is to believe that the person in front of you has got what it takes. It might not be true, yet, but it is helpful.

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What are the odds?

How do you rate your chances of being successful?

How do you rate your chances of doing something helpful, useful, or generous today?

The chances are one will lead to the other.

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Shrek

When Shrek emerges from the swamp, he doesn’t know that he is done with hiding or that he will soon be a reluctant hero. But, what he does know is that people won’t leave him alone. Frustration is often present at the start of the journey, but if you are on the right path, it shouldn’t be the default setting.

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Word salads

Aim to make a damn fine green salad that even those who are not keen on salad might enjoy, or put out a bowl of salad in the hope that some of it will be eaten. The choice is yours.

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What are you working on?

It’s tempting to imagine that whatever you’re working on, is the most important task (MIT).

If you don’t sit at your desk each day to write, then your book won’t ship anytime soon.

Getting the software out of development and into the market is crucial to recoup upfront costs.

However, that’s the task, not the point. Easy to forget when you’re getting it right. But, “right” might not be nearly as helpful as useful.

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Knowing what must be done

I have two family members who are undergoing elective surgery, before Christmas.

Elective surgery is not an option but a choice.

Often we push back thinking it’s optional but more often it’s a choice we don’t want to face.

Courage is facing up to things we know must be done.

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Don’t prepare, just show up

Strength coaches find it hard to justify planning in detail. It’s hard to predict how an athlete will respond to training stimuli in the next few weeks let alone in 6 months. It’s tempting to rock up and see what happens.

What to do?

Lock in what you know; it’s probably more than you think.

Predict what you think you know; likely to be less than you think.

And for the rest agree in principle how you want to show up for each other.

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What do you do?

Not the boring stuff that’s on the job description or the answer you give at a party but the nature of what you do.

Today I sat with a group of coaches, who turn what they know, into what they teach. They are part of the knowledge economy. I couldn’t help wondering if that’s really the nature of what they do.

Here are a few questions to help:

What is the nature or essence of being a coach?

What does it mean to be a coach?

Define the concept of being a coach?

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The rule of thirds

If you are writing a book, chasing a difficult goal, or simply trying to make sense of what is going on, the rule of thirds is helpful.

Nothing goes well all the time; sometimes you will be happy with the progress, other times just okay, and for the rest of it, you will be sitting in a fog. If the balance between all three states is about equal, then the law of thirds reminds us that’s ok, much like Goldilocks porridge.

Tx Alexi Pappas

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Check in and check out

Taking stock when emotions are high is not always easy. People deal with difficulty in different ways. Taking stock is a smart way to approach a difficult problem.

Following difficult situations and unexpected outcomes, check in with the people involved, and then when the dust has settled check out what happened, what was learned, and what could have been different.

Above all else, be kind.

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You are not you when you are hangry

In fact, you are not yourself when your favourite team loses, when somebody accidentally pushes a trolley into the back of your leg, or when someone cuts you up in traffic.

With so many more stimuli present in our environments, the gap between stimuli and response has never been so important – you might find yourself being “you” fewer times than you would like to think.

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When the fines don’t work

When Michael Jordan wore his red Nike trainers, not the regulation white everyone else wore, the NBA issued a $5,000 fine per game. Nike didn’t care. The maths was simple: if the fans didn’t care, then the NBA’s fury would be dwarfed by the sale of Air Jordan trainers. The gamble paid off, and to date, sales of Air Jordans trainers, are in the billions of dollars.

Today, in the UK, the fine for pumping raw sewage into our rivers and seas is in the millions of pounds. And yet, the practice continues. Why? Because the maths still adds up; if it didn’t they would stop.

Nike gambled on people caring more about their trainers than they did about the NBA’s rules, and they were right. Perhaps the answer to the infrastructure problems we are experiencing in the UK is that we need to care more, not rely on market value and fines.

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Pro’s and Con’s

If you don’t know the arguments for the unfavourable in your approach, as well as you do the favourable, you don’t have an approach, you have blind faith.

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Big BIg BIG

The first time you take your bearings, you are only off a fraction and that doesn’t matter so much. But the second time you look up, you are so far off that the territory is no longer the map.

We can set off with a big fanfare and a big vision, or can we start small with an intention, a few principles, and some behaviours.

The desire to be someone is so strong, so strong, in fact, it’s a distraction.

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When did it all change?

Was it the big upfront presentation, the brochure outlining the new way forward, or maybe it was when you were seen, heard, and spoke up for the first time?

Our “desire” to be a cohesive unit often leads us to the idea of being led, with those who lead standing at the front with a glossy brochure.

But, perhaps starting with a group that has experienced being seen, heard, and spoken up is the quickest way to find out where people want to go and if they want to go with you.

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Current CPD

I am currently working through two self-paced courses

Graydin Coaching

Zac Cupples

And reading two books.

Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely

The Little Black Book of Training Wisdom by Dan Cleather

I’d say total time learning is no greater than three hours a week, one chapter a week on the books, and one section of self-paced learning.

Blogs, book notes, and leadership directives help me play with the ideas I’m working with.

I don’t think it matters how you do it, but it’s nice to make the time to do it.

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Working in the shadows

Jon Oliver recently ripped into the consultancy firm McKinsey asking for greater visibility and accountability. No skin in the game.

If you went to a good university, like money, and are risk averse, perhaps you should consider becoming a consultant.

On the other hand, if you are curious, believe that the world doesn’t need you but could use your confidence in others, become a coach.

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What is it like where you are?

A principle is an unarguable truth. For example, the body is sensory; act accordingly.  And yet.

We care more about how much you can lift or how far or fast you ran yesterday than we do if you are stressed out, eating poorly, and not getting much sleep.

It’s only a principle if it costs us, and usually, that cost is the time to stop, look, and listen.

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Pick and mix

Allows you to pick and choose what you want. The upside for the retailer aside from self-service, is that large amounts of product can be moved easily. Selling one chocolate bar at a time can be a slow business.

Of course, the upside of only selling one chocolate bar at a time is you quickly learn if you know your chocolate and your customer.

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Note well

NB: please pay attention to this next point.

As coaches, it’s tempting to think that what you have noticed is the thing that needs correcting.

“We shall see.”

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What is my coaching for?

I’m learning to live with other people, and coaching helps me with that. 

Coaching helps me to shut up and listen.

Coaching helps me to silence my judgements while others talk.

Coaching helps me to not think about the next thing I want to say.

Coaching helps me to understand what the other person wants and then ask what they really need. 

When I am at my best as a coach, it is when I am working with people with intent –  people who bring energy, they have something they are working on, and they need my help. 

Coaching helps others get clear on what is really important to them. Not what they feel they have to do, but what they really want to do. 

Coaches ask questions like: What are you working on? What do you really care about? What are you interested in?

Answers can be dull at first, but not with practice. Soon, with practice, we drop the things we really don’t want and begin to get curious about the things that we might do instead. That’s why the idea of coaching in sports and physical education is so exciting to me. 

Because I don’t think I’m the only person who struggles to do their best work when the people they are working with wish they were doing something else, somewhere else.

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Peter Perfect

I’m back coaching kids football and my first session is Tuesday.

I instantly fell into the trap of trying to figure out how to plan my perfect session. And then I remembered Peter Perfect the strong but vain racer in the Wacky races. The moment he praised his car it fell apart.

Sound familiar?

Best I start thinking about what I don’t want.

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What do you mean?

I’ve noticed that recently, I have more people in my life who ask me this question.

And that’s a good thing. In fact, it’s a great thing because they seek to understand.

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The real point of practice

The point of practicing is to establish what you don’t want:

An editor’s review of the draft of your book will leave you in no doubt that much of it has to go; the rest you can keep.

Too much speed into a bend, and you lose time in your practice lap.

Lose your balance looking for an edge and you might look silly in the warm-up.

But when you find what you do want, that’s the practice you can keep.

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What’s the value?

In a market, you find a way to pay what you think it costs, but the price of helping out on a bike bus on a Friday morning? That’s less clear.

Social value explains why your boss can’t get you to write an email past 5pm, but you think nothing of helping out at the local sports club.

Some things are worth more when you can’t put a value on them.

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Not everything has to solve a problem

Tomorrow is Ysgol Melin Gruffydd’s first bike bus – a chance for parents, kids, and teachers to come together and cycle into school. I’m super proud of the group that has come together to make this happen, and I’m sure it will be a joyous occasion.

A school bike bus service doesn’t solve the issue of safer cycling infrastructure, but it might just start the conversation.

Don’t forget to smile and wave tomorrow as the kids of Melin Gruffydd ride on past; better still, join us.

Update: Well that was fun 🙂

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Stop, look and listen

I recently heard a mum tell her daughter to “stop, look, and listen” at a road crossing. How many times do we look and listen but don’t stop? You can listen but not hear, look but not see; stopping might just be the answer.

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Sold on the destination

No one I know has ever gotten on a plane because the captain didn’t know where they were going. The destination is the attraction, not the journey.

The same is true for some forms of coaching. For example, a fitness coach will take you from not so-fit to fit for purpose. Once again, the destination is the attraction, not the journey. However, unlike a plane, the journey towards fitness is optional.

Better to sell the journey, not the destination.

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Tough day

Maybe the easiest day was yesterday and today is supposed to be tough. You and I can do tough. But, not always.

Call a friend.

Try to figure it out.

Do the maths.

Go to the gym.

Let it out.

Remind yourself of what you can control; self.

Take a breath and then sleep on it.

They say you should take my advice because I don’t use it, but that’s not always true.

Here’s to tomorrow

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Is this right?

Think of the novice lifter looking to their teacher for approval. The lifter is there to demonstrate competency, and the teacher to pass on their knowledge. The environment is one of assessment.

What if the only person you need to convince in that situation is yourself? What would change?

It’s hard to imagine you would not begin by asking better questions. No?

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What was I thinking?

Why did I make that decision? What was I thinking? Was I even thinking?

A little while ago, for fun, I turned the Pareto Principle, which suggests that 80% of consequences come from 20% of causes, into a slogan for myself.

I’m 80% emotional/20% rational. A reminder that the work is to overcome resistance and think, very practicing stoic, I know.

Perhaps we haven’t gone far enough.

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What’s next?

When writing a book, it’s tempting to start to think about how you might sell it.

How do I reach the people who need to read it? What if no one wants to read it?

If the work of “pitching it” is taking away from the work of “shipping it” you have a project problem.

Shipping your work starts with writing and concludes with the book on the shelf. If you haven’t locked that process down, thinking about how to pitch it might just be a distraction.

Progress is sometimes traveling without moving.

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In agreement

When a bike holds up a car in traffic, it can be frustrating.

Bikes don’t pay for the roads; cars do.

Cyclists don’t keep the wheels of industry moving; motorists do.

If we go any slower, it will all come to a shuddering stop.

And that’s true if we agree that faster is better; after all the car replaced the cart.

But then is intolerance, a lack of emotional control, and losing our minds faster than ever better?

Perhaps it’s time we all agreed that we can do better, much better, and maybe that’s the thing we should all agree on faster than anything else.

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Speed training for the youth athlete

What one thing does a kid need to become quicker?

Is it:

Rate of force development – I’ve seen mention of relative strength, functional strength, and strength in your big toe, but I’m going to move on.

Coordination training – sprint drills and the like.

Fun -tag and chase games.

I’m going to argue that it is intent. We can’t schedule intent; we can’t measure it either but we know it when we see it.

My eldest runs hard when her sister chases her in tag games; she runs slower when I ask her to do sprint drills, yet when she runs at the half pipe in parkour in an attempt to make the top, I’ve never seen her run so fast, consistently, ever.

What can we learn from this?

Coach the human, not the model.

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To travel fast pack light

The breakthrough for a coach doesn’t come when they find their audience it comes when they have done the work to show up without the need for baggage.

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Building a runway

Far too often we think the thing we are working on is the game changer.

But what if the thing that you are working on now was not the plane that would see you take off but just another piece of the runway? What would change? What would you do differently?

Props to B

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Try painting yourself into a corner

I’m pushing on with a return-to-running protocol after tearing the meniscus of my right knee in a biking accident. I was thinking about a new bike, and completing the Scotland North Coast 500 with a friend, but instead, I’m giving myself no choice but to work on single-leg expression and absorption of force.

Success is a return to running, failure is going under the knife and the prize is a change in where I am now.

Over the next 90 days, without any money required or new time spent, what task could make you a little wiser, win or lose?

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Growing old gracefully

Experience is only useful if you use it. Twenty years in the same job doing the same thing is really only one year of experience, repeated twenty times.

A recent study reminds us that growing old gracefully requires us to do things differently. In short, because we can’t exercise with the same intensity then we need to exercise for longer, a lot longer it turns out.

Getting out to see the world has never made more sense.

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Learning to live with others

You pass your exams on your own; no one can pass your driving test for you. And you get your first job – or at least we like to think so – because of what you can do.

Then, you get work colleagues, a partner, and maybe a family. Perhaps you lead a team, a project, or a business. Take a look at your CV; it highlights teamwork, collaboration, and working independently and in groups.

The truth is, that a highly functioning team is a rare and beautiful thing. It contains a collection of individuals who have learned to live with themselves and are open to learning how to live with each other.

The pursuit of individual excellence might not be all it’s cracked up to be.

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Where are you now?

I love this quote from Richard Evans:

“Record covers are perhaps the timelines of our lives. They remind us of where we were, what we were doing, and who we were with; they mark our student days, our holidays, our growing up, and our coming of age.”

Rather beautiful don’t you think?

The first record I bought was Baggy Trousers by Madness, I remember proudly pinning a Ruthless Rap Assasin poster on the wall in my student digs and heading into the hills with a van full of mountain bikes feeling as risky as the beats on the God’s Son album by Nas.

Yesterday I had the good fortune to attend a Graydin coaching practice themed “Meet them where they are.” A nod to the idea of standing in the coachee’s shoes, seeing what they are seeing, feeling what they are feeling. What is it like standing where you are now?

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Retrofit

I recently found myself retrofitting my thinking whilst headlong into a project.

Impulsive, maybe.

Heart over head, perhaps.

Could I have planned it better to start with? Clearly not. That was not until I figured out what I needed to know. And now, yes I can.

Retrofit is to change the capacity, function, or performance of the thing you have in front of you.

Not always such a bad thing.

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How much should I charge?

You could look at the “market rate” which is simply to compare yourself to those around you.

A friend of mine invests in property and never pays the market rate; instead, he calculates what it’s worth to him. The “never mind the market rate” relies on personal choice, circumstance, and patience. He collects plenty of “no’s” while he waits for a “yes.”

Price is a story we tell ourselves and it pays to get our story straight.

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Nothing to see here

We can get wound up by the stories that other people tell, that are inaccurate, misleading, or in our opinion, plain wrong.

But in the end, it pays to remember that unless we have permission, the role of the assessor is not ours to assume.

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Knowing the answer

If it’s no longer about knowing the answer then what’s the question.

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Co-creation

The process of creating a product or service, with the end user, is co-creation.

Perhaps it starts with modeling the behaviours you would like to see.

Declaring what you are working on, taking questions, and accepting challenges.

But it doesn’t have to be just in business, or even your peer group, you can do it at home too with the kids.

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Passionate about numbers

If you want to make a good decision about your numbers then take the emotion out of it.

If you want to find the thing you love to do, take the numbers out of it.

Accountants can write poetry and a poet can balance their books but no one wants an accountant who is poetic about your numbers.

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Without applause

The true test of a rebel is not the cause but the lack of applause.

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Coaching the problem

When a parent comes to you worried about what sports supplements their child wants to take. It’s clear there is a problem.

Do you support their choices, question their choices, or deny them a choice?

What about informing their choice?

When this particular parent sat down to talk through the choices, a new choice appeared, one that both parties could agree on.

Coach the person, not the problem.

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Thinkers and Doers

Division of labour separates those who think from those who do.

The problem comes when those who think don’t do and those who do don’t think.

Together is better.

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When to move on

Derek Jarman writes ‘ It does not matter if it is a failure. Failures are to be desired as long as they are complete, stretched to their limits.’

But why would you want to stick around?

Perhaps you move so quickly that you learn nothing, maybe you haven’t given your idea time to work, or leaving a trail of mishaps has become so meaningless, that it has become part of your mo.

Whatever the reason, it pays to sit in failure, just don’t wallow in it.

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Who does your fighting for you?

When Tony Benn stood up in Parliament to remind the right honorable members that anyone who voted to support the war in Iraq was consciously and deliberately accepting responsibility, he was asking for skin in the game.

How do you increase your commitment to the decisions you make?

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Health and Fitness

One describes a state of well-being, and the other relates to the ability to perform a certain task, such as running a 5k.

It is possible to be of healthy mind and body and of no interest in running a faster 5k. Similarly, you can run a faster 5k and not be of sound mind and body.

Sadly, because it’s easier to measure fitness than it is health, it is easy to forget the order in which to put things; fit and unhealthy is not as helpful as being healthy and fit.

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What do you need to be healthy?

I’m reading Dan Cleather’s The Little Black Book of Training Wisdom as part of my research for a book idea.

A little black book is a place where you put confidential information that perhaps you don’t want to share with anyone else, and I get that. What works for you, might not work for anyone else.

But, what if, we could share what you think you need to be healthy? I’m calling on your wisdom, ideas, and words on what you think you need to be healthy. Who knows, what works for you, might just work for someone else.

Dan’s cardinal rule is “Above all else, be consistent.” Don’t do anything that might negatively affect your consistency.”

What’s yours? You can contact me here.

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Take my advice

Finding an “expert” to tell you what to do is not nearly as helpful as doing the work to understand what you have and what you think you do. If the world feels chaotic, it’s because your thinking is chaotic. First, choose yourself.

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